Crying all night

I met my significant other one 3 years ago it started off good and then slowly got to the point where he was controlling me and taking my friends away then it got to the point where I was using drugs and lying to him about where I was. He found out and then he went out and cheated on me (((told me two years later that he did this because of me ) *** I've been through self harm and drug addiction and have been almost 2 years clean***********

anyways I am training to become a manager at my job and I have to stay a little later to learn how to close the store and he keeps saying that I'm screwing around with my boss

I am 7 weeks pregnant and he is still asking me to send pictures asking me where I am all the time to respond to him right away or else he gets angry.

We have had two incidents in the past where he touch me physically where I thought I was going to die but he hasn't touched me like that for a long time now it's mostly verbal emotional abuse. I go to schook (college) and have a job

he still in high-school but he's 19 years old with no job. He's going through two court cases that are unrelated to domestic violence(might face jail time or worse..). And I don't even know what to do.

He hurt me so badly tonight he blocked me on everything told me to kill myself.

And I said that I'm not going through this pregnancy by myself because nobody else supports me(not even my mom).. and that I would get an abortion and that we should break up . he got very angry at me for saying that. That I will go to hell for killing a baby

I know in my heart that I can't get an abortion I already had one when I was 17 but I'm older now I can support myself and a baby. I'm just so sick and tired of fighting I just want to be loved and supported. And I don't think I can with him..

it breaks my heart because I love him so much.. he can be such a good person but he can be so evil. Help..I'm dead inside, I have to pretend like everything is fine ..its not I deserve better. I know I do, but I feel like I'm going to die when its over..

I feel bad for my baby..