Okey guys emotional support plz😭

So I’m 18 my baby is 3 weeks old her father wasn’t there at labour but he did go see her after and he did drop me off home. Back when I was pregnant my whole 9 month where chaos on and off he always went back to his ex back to me hit me bruised me and all that. My mom hates him anyways we’ve been broken up since July 14 ever since the baby was born he’s been coming here and seeing her at night I did file a police report so he can’t be close to me but he begged me cause of the baby I said yes I’m dumb I’m whenever he came he like hold my hand be all cute with me says he’s scared to lose me says he misses me yet he o my deals with his ex as hi and bye but I can’t trust him at all I don’t believe a word he says so today here I am balling my eyes out cause I let him hurt me again not physically but idk I’m just hurt he just left mad cause I told him he can’t do that he can’t come here and kiss me and idk why but I just give in he knows his ways the whole 11 months I was with him on and off I’ve lost myself he’s one year younger then me. So I just see my baby there I love her so much but I failed I’m not strong enough I low key stalk him but he thinks I don’t miss him cause he’s the only one that texts me like that as in missing me and wanting to cuddle and to fix everything but I don’t talk bout it u TIL today I told him I’m not just for a moment I’m not gonna look stupid and that I don’t trust him he got up grabbed his things and left as I was about to close my door he came back and said “sorry” but wtf idk everyone says he’s changed yet he partied a lot goes out with girls etc and here I am been home since the day my baby was born idk what to do I just messaged him not to call me or text me for the baby he hasn’t helped at all just “seen her” so idk I’m just hurt that I let him in like that in that way as in kissing me and all that

This is my precious baby Isabella 😔