My husband is so selfish

I just broke down crying it seems so stupid I won't lie. From a deep part of me I asked something I have been afraid to ask him. I asked him to go to a sex shop with me. I asked him to either buy me a toy or to get a mold so I could have my toy be his cock. Keep in mind it took a lot for me to ask this. My husband also works out of state for up to 6 or more weeks at a time. Sexually frustrations happen within that time frame often if I'm to be honest. I've told him many times he could have toys if he wants or watch porn we both had talked about this before. Many times. He tells me he doesn't want me to have any toys at all I started crying it took so much to ask him to do that with me and I got turned down. He is much more vanilla in bed than I am and I thought we had expressed these things before but tonight it hit home he will never let me me have what I desire unless it is his body the way that he wants sex. Nothing kinky nothing role-playing no domination not even a simple hair pull and I'm devastated .