Bf has been having an affair for 4 years with same woman.. even during our last pregnancy.

My boyfriend and I met when I was 19 and he was 25. We’ve been together for over ten years and have two kids together. We were great when we first met then went through a terrible rough patch after I found out he cheated on me. We broke up briefly and got back together. Several years later we had our first child and then 3 years after that had our last child. Oldest is now 5. Things have been up and down since. I’ve asked him about marriage and he says he doesn’t want to. I even have to ask him if he even loves me.

I just found out that my bf has had a relationship with the same woman for 4 fucking years. Emotionally and physically cheated. Even wants to marry her which freaking breaks my heart because I wanted that from him.

They started their relationship BEFORE I EVEN TESTED POSTIVE for my pregnancy with last child. That means every appointment he was late to, every night I called him asking where he is, every “business trip” he went on (he’s a fucking graphic designer... like you can work from home) he was probably with her. I feel so stupid. All the signs were there but I just never left. I shouldn’t have gotten back with him after the first one. Idk what to do. He’s the source of our income. I have no money.