Relationship struggles

Been with the same guy for 4 years, i loved him very much and I did everything to take care of him. Although all i got in return was being cheated on multiple times, lied too and belittled. I tried to talk to him about the little things that upset me and he'd get all angry and say im crazy.

I gave my everything to the relationship and because of that I cant find myself. I got so caught up in being "in love" with someone who possibly didnt love me, that I forgot to take care of myself.

We've been broken up for about two months now and I still miss the things we did but im also so happy because I feel like i can be myself, i can go and do whatever i want instead of constantly trying to please someone else. On the other hand, I have hung out with a few guys just to see how it goes. I got home last night after being out with someone and I tried so hard not to cry in the car. Ive come to realize that Im scared to invest time into someone else after all that ive been through, I dont want to go on dates!😭 I dont wanna give my all to someone and be left crying myself to sleep again. I dont think any girl should have to be put through so much mental and emotional abuse, even physical. OR any type of abuse at all!!

I am beyond scared to start over with someone new!! I just dont know how I'll ever let another person into my life.