I know you probably don’t care, but I am in a struggle. 😣

I was too late. I didn’t even realize my feelings for him until I found the time to. And for a person with such intense feelings like me, that is not normal. But yes, I didn’t realize that I was in love with him until exams were over.

Not only he was liked by my best friend for a lot of time, he also has a girlfriend. Fuck. Why is it so confusing?

I am remembering him smiling to me during the year, in the school yard and corridors or when I passed through his classes and he was looking outside the door or window. Sometimes I did smile back, sometimes I hadn’t even had time to think about smiling back. What a piece of shit am I?

I know, I shouldn’t like an ex-crush of a close friend neither a boyfriend of another girl. Yet I feel that attraction with him more than ever. I feel like we were made for each other. I feel like God brought things like that for a reason. God wanted me to notice him even through this way. Who knows? Maybe his current relationship isn’t meant to be. Maybe God wanted me to split with my friend just like it happened two weeks ago so that I can be with him. Maybe we are crushing hard on each other but all of this shit makes everything difficult for it to happen. Maybe I’ll be his next love. Maybe we are indeed meant to be.

What do you think? Can you give me any advice of how I should carry on this situation?