Our babies gained their wings

It's been a month but I just now brought myself to tell or even think out loud about talking about it.

On the 3rd of August I started bleeding very lightly just enough to make me wonder.. Just as a precaution we went to our local E.R there they told us that my HCG was 3100 seeing that I was only 7 or 8 weeks it was very high so they decided to just send me home becuase by the time we got there my bleeding had stopped.

On the 6th of August I had just gotten paid so my husband and I decided that the best way to go about this was to get as much as we could while we had the time. We had just gotten custody of our nephew 2 weeks before we found out we were pregnant. That day (as soon as we got home from buying all this baby stuff) I started bleeding again. Heavy enough it was on my pants and I had no idea. A speedy trip to the hospital revealed that my levels had dropped 50%. At that time this woman that is supposedly a "Doctor" checks my cervix. She looks me and my husband dead in the eyes and says "you have definitely miscarried but your cervix is closed so I dont have a clue where the blood is coming from" and walks out of the room.

The following Thursday I had a OBGYN appointment and that told us 100% that I had miscarried not 1, not 2 , but 3 babies. In that moment i was at the lowest I've ever been. The same day we found out that I had 28% infection to my blood because of the miscarriage. Thinking my body would go the natural route we decided that surgery wasn't an option that I needed to do this in my time. Two days later my infection had gotten to 40% (50% is septic) and surgery was our only option. A D&C and a scope to make sure there wasn't a egg trapped in my fallopian tubes. There was 1 in my right tube that was still moving at a normal rate. So for the safety of my tube and future babies my husband made the choice to have them take the baby in my tube as well.

I still haven't had a period and I'm cramping alot. On the 13th will be a month since my surgery and I'm pretty nervous. I've never been so low in my life. My husband has been my rock. There are days that I stay up and just cry (like tonight), but there are days I can go about life, go to work and continue. But this was the first BFP I have ever gotten we have been trying for 2 years and it was finally happening. I'm so blessed to have even had the chance but I just feel like it will never happen again..