I miss him so fucking much 😔😔😔

Ive been missing my ex so fucking much lately.... it's acc killing me, and the funny thing is, just 3 weeks ago when our son was born (this our 3rd child) he acc wanted me back and tried to kiss me. But at the time I wasnt interested. But then we had a fall out and he blocked me from everything, now we have a 3rd party doing his hand overs for contact so we don't even see eachother. Our other 2 kids are two girls, 2.5yr old and 1 yr old. He hasn't seen our new born son in 2 weeks now and didn't come to be on his birth certificate even tho I informed him. But he's on our both daughters. I feel at this point in time that he hates me, and dosent want to know our son. And that I'll never see him again. The reality is, I will at some stage but god knows when. How long have any of you been apart from your man but then still found eachother again. I wish I took him back when the chance was there. 😔😔😔