8/7/18

When I was in the hospital I breast fed and wasn’t making enough so he was losing weight too fast. My doctors didn’t even notice my milk was having issues so they sent me home.

As soon as I got home my baby wouldn’t latch and i had already had an emergency c section and couldn’t sit up and couldn’t get my pillows in the right position and I was so exhausted that we just got formula and started feeding him with it and I started pumping. That’s when I noticed I didn’t produce.

A few days ago I lost a pump piece I couldnt just grab another of because it got torn up by the bottle brush 😡😡 which pissed me off because I’ve already broken one other piece and because of that I can’t double pump anymore 😡 so I missed one day of not pumping. And I felt it. It hurt my boobs and I leaked like crazy.

Next day i found the piece and pumped and got 1 oz of milk so I was like “holly shot I finally feel really good about myself”

Well after that/ the past 2 days i haven’t produced anything.

Today I pumped for 27 minutes and I got milk to express and I saw milk coming out and collecting but when I looked when I was done the bottle was still only at 1 oz. I literally produced a drop. I just want to take my pump outside and break it into a million pieces and have both my breasts surgically removed.

Why have something if theyre fucking useless right? 😔

Btw: 1 oz of milk is really good for me... normally I only get half that.. and that’s with pumping both sides every time.