This is a long post.. I’m sorry

Hey everyone,

I am asking for advice. In all of my relationships, I have been cheated on. I have been in a physically abusive relationship in the past and have always seemed to attract those types of guys.

Now I’ve been dating someone for two years. He isn’t like anyone I’ve dated before. He bought me a house, helps me save money and things like that. He is a good person.

The whole time I’ve dated him I’ve been very aware that he has a lot of female friends. This isn’t really something I am used to. Previous to me he has dated a couple strippers in the past and as a result knows a lot of them. I have always been incredibly uncomfortable about all of that because 1, they’re tall, thin beautiful women and here I am not the case. I hate to compare myself to others but it’s hard sometimes when you are feeling insecure about yourself..

Most recently, a friend of his who was going to school away has come back into town. He tells me that she once dated a coworker of his but they’ve since parted ways. I’ve met her a few times, each time she hardly speaks to me. She came into our home and didn’t even say hello to me which I honestly found really rude and made me weary that that something could be happening. The other night I came home from work, and she was here. She didn’t even acknowledge me. She just was laughing and talking to my boyfriend as if I wasn’t even there. I ate supper that he and her apparently made(he doesn’t make supper with me ever so that also upset me) I was mad that he also wasn’t really acknowledging me so I decided I’d go to bed. He tried to talk to me but I just said if you want to talk to me then just come upstairs.

When we got upstairs, I broke down. I cried. I told him that I felt really angry over the fact that there is some random girl in our house who doesn’t seem to want to get to know me, let alone say hi to me. Me being the “new” person in this group of friends, you’d think that she’d want me to feel welcome(that’s what I would do anyway..)

He said that I am territorial with all his female friends, makes him feel isolated from these friends and he thinks that I am jealous. He said he feels like I don’t trust him. He want to go to couple counselling. He said he loves me, and wants things to work with me. I believe him.

Honestly I don’t know what it feels like to trust.. I’ve never trusted anyone before. These insecurities have come out in past relationships and I can’t help but wonder if me feeling this way is the reasons why all my previous relationships have failed.

Can someone please just be honest with me and tell me what they think? It is tearing me up inside..