Hi, so I just wanted to talk about my ex boyfriend because ive never really had the opportunity too.

So I met him in college when I was 17, and everything was great for the first year. He was my first boyfriend so it was exciting. He was my first for anything sexual too. So anyway after a year, we were having regular sex but only using condoms (stupid looking back now as I wish I was on the pill or something) but I ended up getting pregnant. After a bit I thought more about the situation and we wasn't ready to be parents and as awful as it was, I ended up getting an abortion(which I didn't realise at the time, my ex was pushing me to get one, constantly saying how having a baby is stupid and I need to 'get rid') so I did. So things went downhill for me after that, I felt I rushed into it and made a mistake and became depressed. Then that Christmas, about 6 months after the abortion, my ex kept saying how he wanted to have a threesome but I refused as I didn't like the idea of another girl being sexual with him so he left me instead and slept with another girl. Then after a few weeks he came back to me, and because I was so desperate for him back, I got back together with him. Then that's when the abuse started.

He used to punch my legs (so nobody would see the bruises), nip me, slap me, kick me, strangle me, throw things at me, break my stuff, anything you could think of he would do. This went on for 2 years. He would randomly get angry over a shirt being dirty for example and then take it out on me by punching or stamping on my head. He once punched my in my jaw and I couldn't eat for a week. He used to call me every name you could think of and he would also call my mum and dad names. He had me pinned up against the wall once by my throat saying this was all my fault and that I killed our baby. All this time when he was doing this we'd always be at his mums house and whilst i was in his bedroom screaming for someone to help me, his mum would just shout upstairs telling me to 'shut up'. He made me push my family and friends away so I had no one to help me. (Looking back now I know my parents would've helped me a lot but I was too scared to leave him or upset them) This went on for 3 years. So fast forward toward the end of the relationship, I find out he's been cheating on me with one of my 'friends' ( we wasn't close, but was out together a lot with a group of my ex's friends). He's cheated on me before this multiple times, from sending my gay friends dick pics and being on dating websites, randomly inviting girls round to his house to sleep with them when I wasn't around. So anyway, the last girl he slept with, she said she apparently 'pregnant' which I wasn't sure whether to believe as at the time she was going out taking drugs and drinking and she was prone to lying a lot. Anyway she and her friend started to abuse me after that, I left him and didn't look back but for some reason she continued to harass me, she saw me out and poured a drink over me, had her family ringing me saying theydkill me or 'twat' me, they text me all the time off different numbers, they once pretended to be my ex on text to get me to meet 'him' so they could hurt me, they found underwear pictures off my ex's phone that he hadn't deleted and sent them around. They knew about him abusing me too and text me saying 'if they was my partner, they'd twat me too' and that I deserve it. They also saw my mum and dad out one night and shoulder barged my mum and then said 'if you touch us again then we'll fucking smack you'. Police never did a single thing to help me, I spoke to them 7 times about these girls and they never helped. There's so much that happened but a lot of stuff I cantremember, whether that's my brain cutting out the bad stuff or if he's hit my head that many times its affected my memory, who knows. That relationship and all of their actions have completely ruined me as a person. My anxiety and depression is so bad now, I wake up every morning with a panic attack, I can't leave the house, I'm unfit for work so I have no money, I get scared when someone slams a door or raises their voice just a little too loudly at me. I'm an absolute mess but I am soooo glad I am away from him. I've now got a new boyfriend and we've been together for a year and he's the sweetest kindest person I've ever met, we've also got a puppy too called buddy who helps a lot with my anxiety. I hate that them scumbags have had such a effect on my life and ruined me, but I'm still trying to push past it, by single simple steps each day. And for anyone who asks, I ddidnt leave because I felt so alone, I thought I loved this person and I genuinely thought we was going to get married. But now I know my worth and so does my boyfriend and even though I'm not the most mentally stable person right now, I couldnt be happier to have him and our pup in my life. I do hope karma gets them all one day, but we'll just have to see.

This is me and buddy! ❤️