For the fear, and for the joy.

FOR ALL YOU WOMEN THAT FEEL LIKE YOUR DAY WONT COME - I am begging you to not lose fear.

We had a miscarriage. We grieved - some days we still do. But we decided to try again. HOWEVER, My husband travels and unfortunately I can’t MAKE my body ovulate when IIIIII wanted it to, All I kept seeing were BIGFATNEGATIVES - over and over. I prayed and prayed, and cried and cried.

For all of the ladies that have tried for YEARS, my heart goes out to you and I send endless blessings into the world that you will get your bundle of joy. Because we didn’t try for years and years, but I know how bad it feels to lose a baby and even try for months..

This month I said okay 🤷🏼‍♀️ we have a slim chance in this window. But of course why would I get my hopes up. Then around 8 dpo I was like ugh I feel a little nauseous... THIS COULD BE IT. So I tested... at 8-9-10dpo... negatives. And assumed I was OUT. I mean at 10dpo I figured I’d see something faint like I did last time.

Today my aunt flo was ONE day late, which since my miscarriage isn’t a big deal because let’s be honest, she clearly thinks she gets to do whatever she wants now...

I felt nauseous again today and decided what the hell, at least I’ll know. AND GUESS WHAT!!!!

THE BIGGEST MOST BLATANT BIG FAT MOTHER EFFING POSITIVE.

Let me also note I cried like a BABY. I mean big fat crocodile tears.

Now. I’m terrified. There is no guarantee we’ll meet this baby, I may hold this bean for 12 weeks and lose it, just like before..

But I have faith, this is OUR rainbow, this is the baby that we will hold and love and cherish. That miscarriage will NOT ruin this BFP. I am forever grateful, and can only pray that there are no complications.

Sorry this is super long, but we have no one to tell right now - so I chose YALL!

If you’re still here, thank you. Sending baby dust & prayers for a happy and healthy 9 months your way!!! ❤️❤️❤️