Smoking weed

So I’m 21 and I’m a studying witness but for a while I have struggled with the strength of my spirituality because I’m sure I’m addicted to weed! I am trying so hard to stop! I have plenty of reasons to stop, I have kids and I do not want them to see me smoke my life away I want better for them! I want better for myself! I don’t want to look like a nobody no good weed head mother 😭😭😭 I’m not knocking anyone who does it but cmon! It’s not a good habit! Any type of smoking is bad for you and specifically me I have asthma😕 I have really terrible anger issues and today I fought the urge... I want to continue fighting this urge! Everyone in my family does some type of drug and I want to make a difference! I want my kids to know that you don’t need that to live life! I feel so torn and weak when I want to smoke...it’s constantly on my mind when I’m angry...today I just went to buy a drink but drinking is so not my thing and I don’t want ANYTHING controlling me but me...I don’t really have friends that support this because they smoke too 🤦🏽‍♀️ man I’m trying so hard! I think I will make it for sure this time I have too! My kids are at that age to where they know...but still early enough for them to forget 😕 I want to be a good mother and my friends don’t help they tell me just because I smoke doesn’t mean I’m a bad person but I can’t help but think that I’m a bad image for them as long as I can’t control my urge to smoke or anger without drugs. Someone tell me I’m doing the right thing and that my babies will benefit from this 😭😭😭 that I will ! That I will be a good image for them ...it hurts so bad this is the second day without it btw...I go about a week in between and then I break from some issue or something...

I’m a big cry baby 😭 tears are just dropping thank y’all so much 😭😭😭 it’s really hard your support is well needed! I just want to be somebody!

To confirm further yes I’m a studying JW