My birth story

I'm finally ready to share my birth story. My boys are going on day 12 in the NICU. It feels so unnatural to have your babies and then have to go home without them. I know they are getting the best care, but it doesnt make it any easier.

September 5th was my birthday. I had been on bedrest since 24 weeks due to preterm labor caused by placenta previa. I made it to 35 weeks and 4 days, with daily contractions and slight bleeding. I was feeling emotionally really good, just relaxed and not so anxious and upset. My hormones had been turning me into a crazy bitch lately. The day was fine, except that I was having increasing intense cervical and vaginal pressure as the night went on, so bad it was hard to get up. But, I didnt think anything of it because it's been happening for awhile.

In the middle of the night during one of my nightly episodes of not being able to sleep, my cat came by me. She climbed up and rested half of her body on my belly, with her paws stretched out over it. She NEVER did this at all the entire time I was preggo. But, I really didn't think anything of it, although I really wish I had taken a pic of it.

I woke up on the 6th at 9am needing to pee like crazy, totally normal. I went to the bathroom and laid back down but still felt like I had to go more as there was a lot of pressure. I went again, got up from the toilet and felt this really weird pressure followed by a little almost pop feeling and sound. Right after that a huge gush of warm, for a solit second I thought why the hell did I just pee all over...then I clicked. My water broke. I sat back down for a few seconds and then stood back up to see if it would continue to come out and it just gushed more all over. Holy shit. I called my husband who just got into work and he came back home. I called my dr office and one of my nurses let my dr know.

On the way to the hospital I sat on a towel but got more water all over me. We got into labor and delivery, checked in and the entire time water was just coming out. I really had no idea it could be so much, and that was just from baby a!

Even before my dr saw me, a team of anesthesiologists came in to find the best veins for my iv since I have a huge issue with that. Dr came in with a resident and pushed on my belly and more water came out. He swabbed some to verify it was truly amniotic fluid . Oddly enough it didnt come up for sure as that what it was so they did a speculum exam and more water came out. Dr said ok clearly that's what it is. He told me that it was time. He said we could wait to do the c section til I went into full labor but it really was better to do it now, and I agreed. I already had 2 contractions since getting to the hospital. #nope.

I was taken to a room to get my epidural. This was what I was most afraid of, but it went so smoothly. I had the best team of nurses and anesthesiologists. They even let my husband stay in the room, something they usually don't allow. I had to get a special concoction of drugs extra strong due to my inability to get numb and being extra sensitive. So, it took awhile for it to all kick in. By that time we finally got a hold of our friend and birth photographer and the last min ok from the dr to allow her in the or. My husband went to get changed into scrubs and I was taken to the or.

About 10 mins into laying there, waiting for everything to get prepped, I started feelong like I couldn't breath and dry heaving. I was given zofran and they put some sort of odd smelling cloth by my nose in less than a min I felt fine again. My husband came in after that, and everyone waited a minute for my photographer to come in. I was so thankful for that! Once she was here it started.

It's such an odd feeling not being able to feel anything but knowing you are getting cut open. Maybe after 10 mins they told my husband to stand up and he said "omg, there he is". Someone held up a mirror and I saw my baby a laying there, arms stretched over his head and eyes wide open. It didnt seem real. A minute later they pulled baby b out. I dont remember seeing him, but I was told right away that he has red hair. They were eexamined by the NICU team and my husband got to watch and cut the cords. I saw each of them getting weighed. Then they were wrapped up, and my husband brought baby a to me. He has dark hair just like him. A minute later he showed me baby b. They let him carry b to the NICU with them since he was stable and only needed some oxygen for a min.

They finished the surgery and I was taken back to recovery for two hours. I was feeling fine and then I wasn't. My head felt clogged, ears were ringing, sound was muffled and I was dizzy and felt like puking. I guess my BP was all over the place. A minute or so later I was fine.

After recovery i was taken to see the boys but unable to hold them yet. That was so difficult.

In my room I started to feel like crap again. They took my blood count and found out it was really low so I was given 2 bags of blood. I felt so much better after that.

I wasnt able to hold my boys for 24 hours. But, when I finally did it was perfect.

I was discharged 4 days later. It was and still is so damn hard to leave without your babies.

We spend pretty much all day every day in the NICU. We are able hold them and that helps. We dont know when they can come home. Both have a lot of stuff they need to do first.

William was born at 1:10 pm, 4 lbs 6 oz

Winston was born at 1:11pm. 3lbs 7 oz.