I’ve been using coke for about 4 years now. It was never that serious when I first started. I’ve always been the party girl of my friends and where I come from coke has always been easy to get and literally everyone does it, so I didn’t think much of it at the time. I’d only really do it socially and at parties and could’ve (and should’ve) quit while I was ahead.

Anyways, the last 1.5 years I’ve been snorting about a gram a day, give or take. I’ve gone on 5-7 day binges drinking, drugs and no sleep. I always find a way to get coke no matter my circumstances, and I can’t drink without taking a few lines or else I’ll get way too drunk and blackout.

I’ve found myself in some pretty questionable places and situations when I’m really high, and it’s starting to take a toll on my appearance. I’ve always been pretty small, but in the last month I went down to 100lbs from almost 120. My skin has broken out in the worst acne I’ve ever had, and I just look rough overall. I lost my job. One night after going hard for a few days, I got the worst paranoia ever, convinced a friend to drive me to my house at 6am, grabbed some clothes and threw them in a bag and left down to go stay at my parents because I thought people were after me.

Being at my parents has made it hard to keep up with my habit because they don’t even like when I drink. So I decided now is the best time to get clean. I’ve been sober for 4 days and it’s the worst. All I fucking do is sleep, no matter how much sleep I’ve already had. I’m having to deal with my anxiety and depression in healthy ways now too. And reading and watching things about other people dealing with addictions is comforting but also makes me want coke more when I hear them describe it.

My parents have no idea about my addiction because I’m embarrassed and ashamed to admit to anyone. So understandably they’re not happy that I’ve randomly come back home with no explanation as to why I lost my job and I’m sleeping all the time or snapping on everyone.

Anyways.... I’m very curious to hear about others addictions and getting sober, mainly with coke, but anything really.