At 37+3 on Tuesday at 10 pm, hubby and I anxiously went in for induction of our little girl due to Cholestasis. I was nervous as a FTM but super excited. My doctor would be in for delivery Wednesday at 8 AM to Thursday until 8 AM so she wanted us to get a jump start. Good thing she did because we had a crazy journey.

At my appointment the day before, my doctor notes that I was about 60% thinned out and about 2 cm dilated. I thought ‘yay! Things should go pretty smoothly’ lol. The doctor on the floor the night of induction tried to place the foley bulb after we got settled and all set as far as admitting questions at around 12 am. Even after childbirth I can say the pain as she tried to place the bulb is one of the worst pains I have EVER experienced. She couldn’t reach my cervix and kept repeating that I was not thinned out at all and closed. I’m thinking how crazy that is considering my doctor said otherwise but she kept trying to place it for an hour of agony. And I do mean agony. I was shaking and crying afterwards and every cervix check after made me so nervous, she never successfully got it placed.

The plan was supposed to be to start a medicine that would help ripen me an hour after the foley and then pitocin 3 hours after that. With the foley not in, the doctor decided to just start both medicines around 3 am and contractions were immediate. Not crazy painful but enough to wake me up every 20 minutes or so, I slept maybe 3 hours that night. When my doctor got in in the morning she was fuuuuurious. There were 3 other ladies on the floor that the doctor wasn’t able to get foley bulbs in for and my doctor was not happy lol, we were all behind. She put my foley bulb in around 10 am and it was not nearly as painful as the attempts the night before although I was having contractions by then do some of the pain may have been masked. About 2 hours later she broke my water and things reaallllllly started to heat up.

My contractions got intense almost immediately, every 3 minutes and I couldn’t handle them. I thought surely since they were so intense I was progressing quickly. Nope. I was 4 cm about 3 hours later. I asked for the epidural and it was heaven... for about 4 hours lol. My numbness completely wore off by 7:30 pm, my legs were so NOT numb I could have stood up, honestly and the contractions had me in tears. On top of that, I woke up with a raging fever, chills, and a stuffy nose. I had 8 blankets on and still couldn’t get warm, my temp was about 101.8 so they proactively started me on antibiotics. They gave me a booster dose of the epidural through my catheter and I felt wonderful again so I got to get some sleep, until 1 am when it wore off AGAIN. By that point I was 8 cm and figured we’d be ready soon, the anesthesiologist gave me on more booster shot at 1 am and I was relieved to know it would probably work through delivery.

WRONG AGAIN. I wasn’t fully dilated until 5:30 AM and by that point I felt everything again. My nurses had me sit up so gravity could pull the nugget down a bit and I started pushing around 6:45 with every contraction every 3/4 minutes. My husband has been a rockstar this entire journey, especially through labor but his over zealous support of “push push push push push!” With every push was so annoying lolol. 8 AM passed and I still wasn’t crowning or anything so my doctor would not be delivering my girl but the other doctor in her practice would which at that point I didn’t mind very much. Finally around 8:30 AM they called the doctor in and I was so close to giving up. I really did not think I had another push in me, I was exhausted and in SO much pain. I felt evvvverrryyyytthhhhing, I felt my nails digging into my own legs when I pushed, I wasn’t numb at all. I was thankful for the epidurals help during our long and painful labor but it would have been nice for it to have worked through delivery lol! I pushed maybe 3 times for the doctor before I was so frustrated and done, I gave it all I had and pushed so frickin hard guys. I felt her head coming out and I felt myself start to tear so I said screw it, took another huge breath without letting up, and decided this baby was coming out with the next 10 count. Sure enough, she came out completely with my next breath and gosh, was she perfect guys. She gave the tiniest little cry, not because something was wrong but because she’s just a quiet chick so far. She didn’t let out a big, legitimate cry until they gave her a shot in the leg an hour later, she preferred to just grunt and gurgle. I had a second degree tear so I got stitched up while they evaluated her. I got to do skin to skin for an hour before she had to head to the NICU for a few reasons.

Ellarae Margaret

5 lbs 7 oz

18.5 inches

We were high risk throughout pregnancy for mild venticulomegly and possible IUGR(that mostly cleared up towards the end, that and she had a small fever like me when she came out. So they took her for 4 hours for some test and evaluation. Those 4 hours were agonizing until we learned that she would be staying an additional 48 hours, at least, and my heart broke. I wanted her in my arms and felt really defeated. She was having a little trouble keeping her temperature up, and breathing quickly although it wasn’t effecting her oxygen levels which was a great sign. Mostly she had to stay so they could take blood cultures for 48 hours and make sure the fever wasn’t due to an infection. As disappointed as I am, I am thankful for the rest after such a long ordeal and my tearing had me in a lot of pain and we get to visit her as often as we can.

She is more beautiful than I could have imagined- I never guessed this kind of love could exist. About 28 hours before we know if she can finally be with us and I cannot wait. She is such a tiny little peanut! And my husband had been so amazing, watching him transform into the proudest new daddy has been so incredible and his support this entire time has kept me going. I thought I loved this man before but, holy cow, I had no idea.

Almost 36 hours for induction from start to finish, 2 hours of pushing, were so so so worth it for our little beauty. Keep positive vibes for my Elliebean as she spends the next day in NICU and thank you for reading. 💖