I’m just going to get right to it. My parents have had their issues since before they even got married 21 years ago. Today was their last day in court. In about 4-6 weeks, their divorce is finalized and I couldn’t be more happy for my mom. My dad put her through living hell all her marriage and she gave up her youth to be with him. Now its finally time to get her life back and not be controlled and manipulated anymore.

My dad cheated on my mom and he still does do things with prostitutes, escorts, etc. in the home I grew up in and went through all my high school troubles in. The home where my brother is growing up. It’s so traumatizing on a kid when they know what their father does when he’s not around. I still have to go back and forth to my parents because my dad won’t allow me to stay full time at my moms. No matter how hard I try he just always fights and yells and says really hurtful things to me and my mom.

I never knew my dad was so awful until last summer when I said I was going to spend a semester in Chicago living with my uncle. He accused me of only wanting to be in Chicago to be with black men and he said I’d end up getting pregnant. He said I’m going down a wrong path because I wanted to live my own life. Well, I’m home now and I don’t see a child that’s mine anywhere.

I just wish sometimes that my dad wasn’t so ... I don’t know, crazy? I always get so much anxiety when I go to his house. It’s as if we’re all walking on egg shells around him. I’m waiting for the day I get accepted to a university out here in California and I can finally move out for good and dorm. That’s probably my biggest dream right now is to leave and focus on myself and my education. Ever since I came back home all I have been dealing with are my parents because they constantly bring me in the middle of their divorce. (I’m 19)

I just want to know if anybody has gone through something similar, and if anybody has any advice for how to deal with this the remainder of my time here? Thank you for reading this far.