Borderline anorexia ???

Hey guys listen I'm just gonna be honest and get out there that I'm struggling. I cry every time I see my body, I think its ugly. I'm so fat and I'm not sure how anyone can tolerate me. I've never ever struggled like this in my life; I've never fully "liked" my body, but I've never had the thoughts I have now. I eat about once a day and every time I eat I feel so fat. I'm on the keto diet currently and about every other day I strongly consider eating less and less so that I can only eat to get by. I'm really sorry for my post, I'm embarrassed of myself. I was more confident at 16 than I am at 20 and that's embarrassing. I guess i just needed to vent.