**TW** Insecurity when it comes to sex/relationships?

Before I started having sex and dating, I was always an insecure person, but lately it's just skyrocketed. I always feel like I'm not good enough for my boyfriend, even though he tells me that I'm beautiful and that he loves me. I feel this especially when it comes to sex. He tries to reassure me that he always enjoys it, but I just can't accept it. I also get jealous and upset over the silliest things, and it really pains me to see myself like that, because I know it puts a dent in the relationship. But I do believe I know the cause of this...

**TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT**

My very first time having sex was date rape, so from the very beginning I never had a healthy view of love and sex. My boyfriend doesn't know this and I don't plan on telling him any time soon.

I don't know what to do. I have an appointment with a sexual assault counsellor soon. Until then, does anyone have any tips on how to manage insecurity like this? Thank you.