My best friend has been battling cancer for over 5 years. She was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer around 20yrs old. She is now 25yrs old and decided to stop treatment last year. She has had several surgeries, had large sections of her colon removed, had both ovaries removed and been through chemo. This summer they decided it was time to have a hospice nurse to come a few days a week to help maintain her pain and needs. This week I was notified she had taken a drastic turn and can’t even walk. She is only awake 6-7 hours a day, isn’t eating, and the nurse says 1-2 weeks left.

She lives about 3 1/2 hours away so it’s not very easy to go visit...especially to drive that far with a toddler, pregnant, and not knowing how she is feeling.

She has left a note for her husband for her funeral plans and he notified me today that she wants me to sing at her funeral. This will be incredibly hard, but it’s her wish.

I am 30 weeks pregnant today and I know that it’s crucial that I keep my emotions under control, but I need to grieve. We have been best friends for about 14 years. Being in this happy time of pregnancy and bringing new life is incredibly hard to know she is dying and she won’t be here for his birth.

She has never missed any major events and has helped me with wedding planning, baby shower, the birth of my daughter...she was going through chemo treatments and still drove all the way here to be here for the birth of my daughter. I don’t know what I will do without her in my life.

Sorry for the long post, but they haven’t told many people and I can’t really talk to many people about it. When my grandma passed away last December I got so upset I made myself sick and I know for my health and my baby boys health I can’t allow my emotions to get that out of hand.