Finally left an abusive relationship

I hate getting attention and I’m not posting to get any but I really need some courage and positive advice/feedback right now.

Tonight my fiancé got physical with me a second time. It took his dad and brother to get him off of me when I was trying to leave after he said to pack up my shit and leave. Before that he pushed me so hard I went to the other side of the room. He also threw my phone at the wall. He was cussing at me the entire night calling all kinds of name saying I started it and I’m acting like his crazy ex. Apparently I started it by asking him what’s upsetting him. I want to leave because I know I won’t be safe with him, I’ll be happier and have a better life but I love him even though I hate what he did. I know I need to be strong and leave but this is literally the hardest thing I’ve had to do