Finally got round to my twins birth story...

I miscarried my first baby in May 2017 at 8 Weeks it was one of the worst times of my life. We agreed that if we weren’t pregnant again by the beginning of 2018 that we would take a break and I’d focus on my career for a bit (I was 22, married at 21).

I was all but giving up hope struggling each month with the negative results. I had finally given up hope in October and decided I’d get a new tattoo to make me feel better. I didn’t feel pregnant and was sure I wasn’t so took a test... low and behold I was pregnant. I made my husband take me to buy an expensive digital test as I just didn’t believe it.

I was a nervous wreck (I have severe anxiety and depression). We had our booking in appointment at 6 weeks and I was hoping for some confirmation by the midwife that all was okay but got nothing but paperwork.

At what I thought was around 8 Weeks I started having cramps this freaked me out after losing our first at 8 weeks. To help calm me down they booked in a scan.

We found out we were expecting twins!!

We were shocked but also knew our odds of having twins was high as they run in both sides of our family.

The pressure was even greater then and I was even more nervous of losing them. I had awful nausea but wasn’t sick often.

At my dating scan we found out we were a week ahead so we were 13 weeks pregnant I was so happy to get past that first milestone although the fear didn’t lessen until I got past 20 weeks.

At 30 weeks I started itching uncontrollably. After several blood tests I ended up at hospital because babies weren’t moving as they normally did. Turns out I had a pregnancy liver condition which means the liver bile ducts were blocked causing me to itch. It was awful I couldn’t sleep my legs started to swell until it was difficult to stand up. I was miserable and cried often.

I had always looked forward to being pregnant but this was not what I expected and I hated that I was so miserable even though I was so blessed.

I ended up in hospital on a Friday at just over 35 weeks thinking my waters had broken but the tests came back negative for waters but positive for labour. They sent me home that Sunday.

When we got home my back started hurting really bad again and we assumed it was a baby pressing on my nerves. I was up all night crying my heart out in pain and discomfort so rang the hospital first thing in the morning.

They told me to come in to get the babies checked as I was high risk with twins. They told me my cervix was open and that it shouldn’t be long so I was admitted.

I ended up in hospital nearly a week on strong pain killers as nothing would stop the pain in my back.

It was Friday 15th June evening I’d been on my birthing balls bouncing for days I hadn’t slept properly in over a week and something felt different. I had a bath but it didn’t stop the pain it only got worse. The doctors refused to check my progress and just gave me more painkillers.

I was frustrated in pain and tired so eventually got put in a side room with the midwives promising to get a doctor in as soon as they swapped shifts.

At 4am after little sleep and more pain a doctor agreed to check my progress to find I was 4cm dilated.

I got moved quickly to the labour ward where I was given an epidural and put on monitoring. At 6.30pm I was taken to theatre as my cervix was only 7cm dilated at the front and the hormone drip wasn’t working so they said I would need help from forceps.

I had an episiotomy and forceps to deliver my first gorgeous little girl Emilia Lorraine at 18.08 weighing 5.13lbs it was a euphoric feeling.

I then had a doctor and a midwife hold my stomach to try to keep twin 2 in place but it didn’t work. When they popped my waters her hand came down in a breech position and she prolapsed her own cord.

All panic broke loose and I was given an emergency c-section. Unfortunately it was such an emergency that we didn’t have time to let the epidural top up get sorted so I felt the initial cut and tear and it was agony.

I remember feeling the wave of energy leave my body as they cut and seeing white lights as if my body was going into shut down mode. I told my husband I loved him as in that moment I didn’t think I was going to make it.

My beautiful baby girl Delilah Halcyon (her second name was my mums) was born at 18.43 weighing 5.06lbs and taken straight away to be resuscitated and then onto NICU.

I found out later that I lost nearly 4 litres of blood and that it had been a close call. My poor baby girl didn’t have any skin to skin until her daddy could get to see her.

I don’t remember much else except pain until I woke up in a drugged haze after 9.30pm.

It took me a week in hospital and a second blood transfusion (4 units in total) before I could take my babies home.

Whilst in hospital I received a referral for postnatal depression and things have been an upward battle since then.

I have good days and bad but my baby girls are now nearly 14 weeks old and the light of my life. Having twins is tough but I wouldn’t change it for the world.