Anyone else?

Hey girls, so this post is more for me to kind of talk through and maybe figure out my kinks better (I’ve known I’m kinky for a while now, but I have yet to act on it haha) and also to see if anyone else can relate.

I suppose I should give a small amount of context for you all to start off with. I’m 18 and still a virgin, but I fantasize about being in a BDSM relationship all the time, I just need to find the right guy.

Anyway, I’ve been reading a lot of the posts on here and I seem to keep seeing a distinct line between being a slave and being a brat, but I think that I’m a mix of the two: a slave with a secret brat side if you will.

Now I’ll explain more what I mean by that: I want to be in a master/slave dynamic, but what really turns me on is like if I were to purposely do something wrong (the brat side coming through) so as to get punished for it, but not let on that it was purposeful or that I enjoy the punishment (I’m a masochist lol), rather act terrified of what my master is going to do to me. I guess really it’s the fear that gets me going, so I would want to do things to ‘incur his wrath’ so to speak (is a fear kink a thing? Because if so I have it).

Let me know your thoughts and sorry if this doesn’t all make sense, I wasn’t quite sure how to put it into words :)