I recently broke up with the guy I’ve been seeing off and on for almost four years because I couldn’t handle it anymore. He was very self absorbed and never interested in genuinely speaking or seeing me unless we could have sex, then would ask me when I planned on leaving right after he finished.

I got really fed up after he forced me a few months ago and I didn’t speak to him for a while, then he came to my house with flowers and a string of apologies so I took him back like an idiot. Well a few weeks ago he convinced me to fuck him (it was always him having to convince me because he hurt me a lot so I never wanted to) then in the middle of it he pulled out so we could change positions, and when I was turned around he took off the condom and didn’t tell me.

I’m a die hard feminist so I don’t know what is wrong with me that I put up with basically being date raped so often, but now that I’ve finally broken it off he won’t go away. It’s been almost a month and I’ve been talking to a long time friend for the past week, and me ex was randomly showing up at my house with flowers and apologizing constantly and sending me text messages in the middle of the night but now that he knows I’m talking to this other guy he’s getting ugly. Really ugly. Verging on violent. Calling me a slut, sending me hateful texts, making threats to this new guy, it’s all around bad and he won’t stop. I can’t get him to stop. I have everything blocked of his including his number but he either makes new accounts or leaves me ugly voicemails through other people’s phones.

I don’t want to go to the police because I don’t want to go through the legal process of having him convicted of rape because that will leave a black spot on my record and I’m only 17, I can’t let that happen. Please somebody tell me what I can do because I don’t need my ex and my new guy putting each other in the hospital and I don’t need to be sitting in the police station answering questions and telling strangers memories of his assaults