When my life changed ... in so many ways.

2 years ago I went through the hardest time of my life. My boyfriend at the time and I had just split. When I found out I was pregnant. I told him and he immediately wanted to get back together and try to make things work for the baby. So we did.

I was doing a student teaching for my associates degree. Had just started. I’d be there three days a week with a full time and then some class load. He was working full time two hours away, and we were trying to figure out where we were going to live, and after the initial shock of an unplanned pregnancy. We found our selves getting excited.

I was ten weeks, it was two days before our first appointment and I was in the bathroom at the school where I was student teaching. I had been helping clean up after a long day of being nauseous and tired. When I started cramping. I was spotting some too.

I called my boyfriend and he came rushing from his job (2 hrs away). We met at his moms where the cramping and bleeding was getting worse. He talked me into going to the hospital. I was completely in denial. I thought everything was going to be fine and he was over reacting. They did an ultrasound to find out that we had lost the baby.

This time of my life, was one that would change me in so many ways. It wasn’t my first miscarriage. And no it wasn’t the situation I wanted to be in, but I loved that baby so much. And all I could see was that baby and I. I fell in love with the daddy all over again. And though things were going to be good. However, the stress of the miscarriage and him coming out to take care of me, grew old. He did his best to help me get through it, but there was nothing he could do. All I wanted to do was lay on the couch and do/feel nothing.

Most of the time I’m okay now but sometimes I think about him and the baby and wish were all together right now.