1. No, I am not about to give birth in the checkout line at Petco. I trust my OB very much - I am pretty sure that my due date (or at least it’s vicinity in November) is correct, do you have your degree in obstetrics?

2. No, I am not pregnant with twins… And yes, I am sure. My husband is an imaging physicist that works for GE healthcare, who geeks out over the E10 GE scanners my hospital has whenever we go for a growth ultrasound and talks about how amazing the technology is with the ultrasound techs - with those machines I would know by now if I was having twins. (Plus, a perk of his job, we have been able to have access to a handheld ultrasound scanner at home and have seen our Singleton many times over the last few months).

3. Please do not whistle and shake your head at me while looking down at my stomach as if I am some poor unknowing soul who has literally no idea about their own pregnancy or the phantom twin that may be residing in their abdomen.

4. Yes, gentleman at Home Depot: yelling “you’re about to POP!!!” In a loud voice at me while I’m in the self-checkout line will be met with the iciest ignoring face I can muster. You can stand there and wait for my reaction all you want, but I will continue to check out slowly and methodically and exit the store, never once looking in your direction.

Ahh, the joys of morning errands on my day off. Hope you ladies have a great day! I’m sure many of you are also having similar experiences!