I honestly don’t even know where to start. I’m laying in bed, my eyes burning from my tears, my voice hoarse from screaming. Where did I go wrong. What did I do to deserve this kind of ache. I feel like I want to die. Not in a way where I kill myself and hurt those around me. Just in a way where I stop existing and everyone can go on about their lives.

My husband is distant. He cares more about receiving support from and spending time with his family rather than his own wife.

I am the invisible child among my four siblings. I can’t do anything that would ever measure up to things happening in their life.

I make time to be there for my friends. Where are they when I need them? When I’m crying on the bathroom floor pulling my hair to keep from cutting my skin. But of course... it’s no one else’s responsibility to make sure I’m okay.

I feel so alone.

So insignificant.

I wonder if anyone would miss me if I were gone, but of course they would. That’s how it always goes isnt is? “I wish she would have reached out” “I didn’t even know she was having a hard time”. They encourage you to reach out, seek help, but you can’t find help in them. It’s not their problem. Until it’s too late.