Another pregnancy announcement 😔

Just ranting ahead...

So many of my friends are pregnant or giving birth. My younger cousin just had her 3rd child. My mom's cousin announced her pregnancy a couple of months ago. 2 girls from high school announced their pregnancies within this past month. A middle school friend announced her pregnancy a couple of weeks ago. A high school friend just announced her pregnancy today. And another high school friend will be having her baby in a month.

I've never had a problem with people announcing their pregnancies. I've always been so supportive and genuinely congratulate them. I have never struggled until now. When my friend announced her pregnancy today, I could feel my eyes welling up as I told my husband. I just can't help but wonder when it'll be my turn. My husband and I have been having unprotected sex for a few months now and still nothing. We've been together for longer than any of these people who have announced.

I want to be pregnant, but I also don't. I feel like I will never be a good mom, even though many people tell me otherwise. I feel like I will have PPD. My husband and I keep adopting animals, and I hope that they can fulfill the emptiness in me, but it hasn't helped. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like the time will never be right and I will always struggle. I don't even know how to describe what I'm feeling.