Not sure how to feel...

I need your help ladies...

I have an 8 1/2 year old with a man I haven't been with in almost 9 years (we split when I was 7 months pregnant). I've been with my now SO for almost a year now and we are seriously considering having a child together. I've known him for almost 3 years and I love him more then anything in the world. He is my rock!

We have been off bc for 5 months because we have decided to start trying. We have had no luck in getting pregnant in fact I've seen my OB/GYN because I don't ovulate. So needles to say I'm getting very frustrated.

I have a friend, who is related to a woman, and she just told me that this woman is pregnant... now let me explain this woman has a 5 year old (with the brother of my friend), that she doesn't take care of, my friend (the little girls aunt) and her mother (the little girls grandma) raise this 5 year old. The mother doesn't even live there, she may or may not come to the house a couple times a week.

She also had a little boy in October. Now, when she was pregnant she admitted to the possibility of 2 father's. I said that because she was admitting to 2 father's there were probably more... in the last 10 months she has dna tested 2 men and neither are the father, she has 2 or 3 more men to test.

She is pregnant now and is due in November. She again is admitting to the possibility of 2 men... so you know what I'm thinking

She will have 2 babies in 13 months and a 5 year old but I have the man of my dreams, a man who takes care of my kid when the biologic father drops the ball (he does a lot) but we can't get pregnant? I am so frustrated with this situation and I hate the way it makes me feel because I love babies, and pregnant women just make me want to smile.

My SO keeps telling me I can't be upset because it'll just stress me out and hurt our chances of conception even more. But I can't help but have all this hate inside my heart and feel so helpless in this situation. I just feel like it isn't fair. I can't talk to him about it because he keeps telling me I can't get worked up and that God will make it happen on HIS time, not ours (I love him :-D ) am I alone in this? Do any of you girls feel that way? Am I just being a jerk?