Waiting Room Blues 🚫🤰🏽 - A Rant

I’m sitting in the waiting room of my Ob-Gyn and all of my depression just hit me in the face like a sack of stones. I’m doing my best to not cry or show it in my face that i hate being here. Being at a Gyn, you’d expect to see the mom who just gave birth cooing over her baby or the mommy-to-be preparing to deliver or even the woman who just found out she’s pregnant. And then there’s me - the woman wishing she was one of the 3 others. As a mom of two that I didn’t have to exactly *try* to conceive, I figured it’d be pretty easy getting pregnant again. Clearly it’s not.

I also had 3 people in my friend/family group announce their pregnancies within days of each other to me. All the while, my husband and I are faking smiles for everyone. We’re happy for them, but would much rather be happy for ourselves - that sounds terrible but I’m sure someone will understand. Its been well over a year of trying, we’re both young and fertile but yet we get no results 😢.

I want to walk out of the office so badly but the only thing keeping me here is my husband. I don’t want the blood work done anymore. I’m tired of trying new techniques. Dieting is not working. Being im ovulating regularly there’s no actual need for medications. I’m just not in the mood to be here...

(If you’ve been following me then you know I’ve been back and forth to my drs office all year long for TTC and a small cyst they found in February 2018.)