Finding peace through the pain.

The first day of this miscarriage was the hardest; by far the most emotionally and physically painful. As I was in my bed crying and asking why, my husband laid down next to me and grabbed my hand. He listened while I asked him why and expressed my fears of never becoming a mother and never having a family of our own. He listened and consoled me and said something to me that made it easier for me to sleep and wake up accepting our loss more. When I finished telling him that my heart was broken and I had fears about the future he told me this: "I truly believe we'll have children. I feel confident that we will have a family together, but if we don't, that's okay. You are my dream and you're enough. I will be happy because I'm with you." I realized in that moment that I feel the same way about him, he is enough too. He is enough and his daughter is enough. I want to have children with him more than I can explain, but if that doesn't work out, I know I will still have happiness. His words made me think about all of the love I have been shown over the last fews days and all the love I have in my life. Love from my husband, my mother, my sister and my closest friends and I am beyond fortunate for this. People have been there for me in exactly the way I have asked and needed them to be. From this tremendous loss I gained a peace that I desperately needed. I was reminded that although I am hurting and longing, I have so much to be grateful for. The people in my life love me as much as I love them and they have offered me support beyond my expectations. I know I am strong enough to endure, I know my marriage is strong enough to endure and I know my support system is strong enough to get me through. I wish all of the women who are experiencing loss or have in the past, peace and strength. This pain is one unlike any other, but there can be a great deal of beauty to be found within this ache. Good luck and baby dust!