I’m having such a difficult time riding my husband (tmi)😭 is this normal?

Honestly this post is so embarrassing to write but I would SO appreciate tips and advice

Background-

We just recently got married and my husband is so uplifting and sweet.

I’m a sexual abuse survivor so sex is honestly really hard for me to be physically comfortable with, but I of course want my husband and I want my needs met.

I’m in shape and I’ve danced all my life, yet it is so hard for me to ride him. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed, like I’m letting him down..

We don’t drink alcohol so I can’t “get loose” in that aspect. Any tips or tricks you ladies have? I just feel like I’m disappointing him so much even though he’s being so sweet about it.

It’s physically just uncomfortable for me and I honestly don’t seek pleasure from it. I’ve never came during sex and I haven’t even let him go down on me, for comfort reasons. Well, I told him my reasons 5 months ago when we got married and I’ve since told him that I’d be fine with trying it, but he hasn’t attempted.

We aren’t sexually connecting and it’s breaking my heart.

Any tips or tricks would be much appreciated esp ways to “ride easier” ugh sorry that’s so graphic and tmi but that’s what this page is for, right? Haha