Don’t want to think this way

I’m going to be doing IUI soon (hopefully), I got different insurance and it covers fertility , thank god . I try so hard not to get excited and make all these plans in my head like gender reveal , positive pregnancy test , picking out baby clothes with the love of my life etc . I’m scared I’m psyching myself out and it’s never gonna happen or something bad is going to happen :( , these past few year nothing’s been easy for me or can come naturally to me like other people , such as getting pregnant . I don’t want to think like this but can’t help it , does anyone else do the same thing ?