Near death birth

Coraline rose was born on October 17 at 8:51pm, weighing 9 pounds, 12 ounces and 23 inches long. This is my 2nd baby and my labor was 27 hours (with my first it was 19). Only a few hours of that was painful. I was only at the hospital for 3 hours and had gotten an epidural and a spinal tap after an hour and a half of being at the hospital. After that I went from a 6 to a 10 in a very short amount of time and pushed her out very quickly. No tears this time around! However around midnight I had a postpartum hemorrhage.

I got up to go pee and felt very light headed and dizzy, heart felt heavy, struggling to breathe and my ears felt clogged. It was super weird because I had already gotten up and peed right after delivery and had no problems! I got back into bed and about 20 minutes later I felt gushing. I could feel it going up my back and there was blood on my hands. I didn't think much of it but I called the nurse to help me clean up. Right away she took one look and called the doctor's in. About 8 doctors rushed and and that's when things got blurry and hectic. They put a catheter in and got out all my pee and then that's when I dipped. Blood starting gushing out and the midwife shoved her hand all the way up me and started pulling clots out. I've never experienced pain like that in my life. I was screaming bloody murder and was unable to hold still. My husband had to help me fill in the pieces but apparently they were yelling for blood, pitocin and Fentanyl. I started feeling really bad and asked for a break. I turned on my side and was super hot, sweaty, but cold, shaky, tired and throwing up. I could feel the blood gushing nonstop. Doctor's started stabbing me with multiple needles and adding even more IVs. I had no thoughts other than one, this is how I'm going to die. I felt very at peace with it and felt myself slipping away. I found my husband's face and just held onto it. At this point they had the pitocin and Fentanyl going along with some other medicine they put in my thigh that would stop the bleeding. The fentanyl made it so I could barely move and the midwife could continue scooping the clots out of me. I could barely keep my eyes open and kept saying I'm sorry.. they said my lips were purple and I was pale at this point. After the clots were out I could feel myself coming back. The blood had stopped and they started me on a blood transfusion. After I received the blood I got 4 rounds of antibiotics from my doctor's hand up into my uterus. The blood made me feel like a person again! I never thought that giving birth could kill me, but it almost did this time around. I'm now at an increased risk of hemorrhaging again so now my husband and i aren't too sure we want any more children.

My bleeding is super low now but I'm not safe until 6 weeks postpartum. Please please please make sure you alert your doctor or nurse if anything seems off or you aren't too sure. I didn't think my bleeding was that bad at first I just wanted help cleaning it....