Just after some advice...

The scenario is my best friend and I, we have been best mates for ten years, we live islands apart (new zealand I am in the north island she is in the south). Recently (about 6 weeks ago) I travelled down, I won't go into details but basically I put alot of effort in to an event of hers and due to stress she took out alot of misdirected anger in me and said some extremely hurtful things. I have forgiven her but I am really struggling to move past being hurt. I understand the circumstances and that she was stressed and as I say I have forgiven her as I know she didn't mean to hurt me but still I sit her feeling hurt. She has rung me once and said sorry but it was a very defensive apology (well I was stressed and u said u forgave me so what's the problem type apology) which I find is making it harder for me to get past the hurt. She has not spoken to me in the past 4 or 5 weeks as I know she is waiting for me to contact, but she knows that when I am feeling hurt I like space to process it. Now it's at the point that I feel she is not contacting me out of spite and because she wants to be the victim (well u never contacted me so it's your issue type thing). What can I do to make it easier to reach out and get the friendship back? How can I move past the hurt?