Anorexia nervosa

Hello my name is Melissa and I have struggled with anorexia nervosa since I was 11 years old. I’m the first one to tell you that I am better than I was six years ago. However this being my fourth pregnancy the past couple of weeks have really taken a toll on my mental health. Now for those of you who are going to automatically assume that I starve myself the answer is no. I realize how precious being able to carry a child is I am also cervical cancer survivor and this pregnancy was a miracle after being told we couldn’t conceive again. But some days it is really really hard to look at myself and feel any type of beauty. On top of struggling with the guilt of eating some days ( I always make sure to eat ) I also suffer with body dysmorphia. I’m the first want to always help someone else realize how beautiful they are and at times don’t take my own advice. Next week I will be five months pregnant 🤰 and just really looking for some support, or just to talk about this disease that is so many times just swept under the rug and dismissed as an attention attempt. This also isn’t an ego boost by any means. I’m reaching out to either talk about this or talk to others struggling with this mindset during pregnancy. I’ve lost 22lbs My first trimester due to severe morning sickness. I will be 18 weeks in a few days and so far I’ve gained 6 pounds. Prior to this pregnancy I competed in bodybuilding, competitive powerlifting and was in the gym striving for a healthier fitter me. Now I’ve not stopped eating healthy and exercising with in reason and what my body can tolerate. I’m just reaching out. Blessings to everyone during either their fertility, pregnancy, or struggle with any type of eating disorder you are not alone.