Feel so alone

My husband and I have been ttc for 14 months now. Every month when I get my period, my heart breaks. About a week ago, we found out that my husband is infertile. I don’t hate him because it’s not his fault, I just hate this situation. We don’t necessarily have the money to go to a fertility doctor. Though we have insurance, my husband doesn’t like to use it (ie. go to the doctor) because it just makes our insurance, that we can barely afford already, go up. I just feel so alone because I feel like I can’t talk to my husband about it because it’ll make him feel bad and like he’s a disappointment to me. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone else about it either and I just feel like crying all the time.