I’m 23, married, and finally I’m into my 3rd trimester of pregnancy. I had two miscarriages and now I’m finally pregnant with my beautiful son, my rainbow. ❤️

When I was struggling to conceive and carry to term I would beg God. I would scream at him, bargain with him, curse him and makeup with him. I would swear that I would give anything, do anything, just to be a mother.

I decided to take a break from TTC after my second miscarriage to focus on me. I lost 35 pounds, started doing yoga, and rediscovered the love and trust in my body that I had lost years before.

In May of this year I found out I was pregnant, almost by complete accident. Of course there was fear, but thanks to my new mindset there was also hope.

In spite of finally getting what I’d begged God for I found myself struggling with my new body. Stretch marks, which I was cursed with long before pregnancy, began darkening and cropping up in extremely unattractive ways and areas. The weight I had worked hard to lose over the course of 7 months has found its way back to me after 32 weeks of pregnancy. I would go through my “before” pictures of a girl who had finally gotten the flat tummy she’d always wanted, the confident glow she’d desired, and berate myself for “letting myself go”. I bought so many stretch mark miracle creams and cried over every pound. And then I would cry some more over this natural reaction because it was like I forgot what I overcame to get this far.

I’m 23 years old. When I look in the mirror now I see a body I don’t recognize. I see stretch marks mapping my body, I see areas I know I will struggle to ever get back they way they were pre-pregnancy. But today I looked in the mirror and saw something I haven’t seen during this pregnancy. I saw beauty. As I stood examining my stretch marks in the mirror my son moved. My belly shifted with him and I remembered why my body looks this way. My skin is marred with angry red stripes because my body is growing to make way for a healthy baby. My skin and hair are oily because I’m producing hormones to benefit his creation. My breasts are enlarging and darkening because soon they will feed him.

Yes, I may still look at these tiny “perfect” pregnant women and wish that I could have the flawless skin and 10 pound weight gain but that’s not my story. My story is that I’ll gain way more weight than either myself or my doctor are comfortable with. I’ll have stretch marks on my stomach, boobs, butt, and thighs. I’ll have to wash my hair more often and avoid makeup which I used to love so much because now it makes me break out. But the good news? My story ends with a healthy, happy baby.

I’ve earned these stripes. 💙