I hate my body

I'm very embarrassed about myself, so I'm keeping this anonymous. Every single day, from the minute I open my eyes, I am consumed with thoughts that I am fat. I tell myself I am gross. I look at myself in the mirror when I go to the bathroom and all I see is how fat I am. I'm consumed with it. I dream about being anorexic. I am constantly thinking about being thinner, throughout the day and constantly thinking about how much I hate my body. I am 76kg and 1.69m tall, so my bmi is around 26, yet I feel completely disgusting. I don't want to go out because I feel fat. If I do go out I look at myself in every surface that has a reflection and see how fat I am. I can't just have a normal day where I feel beautiful and confident. I am already on medication for anxiety and depression but I don't know how to accept myself and love myself. I've been for counseling and said all the right things but just don't know how to feel it. I am 37, have had 2 c-section babies as well as a hysterectomy so I feel like my tummy is totally disgusting. Please help. I don't know what to do. I just want to feel happy and confident.