First Time Anal : Advice?!

Question

I'm just going to jump right onto this. My fck buddy is into anal. Whether it's a finger, tongue, or the actual sausage. I've allowed one finger during sex and that's about it. Nothing sexy or added to the pleasure for me with that action. I've heard that you are supposed to prepare yourself before you take it up there? But how.?? I had a bad first experience where my x decided to just shove the whole thing in there dry condom style & it hurt so bad i shed a tear. he didn't continue. it was just one thrust and out bc i was not happy. so I'm pretty terrified of the idea. Not to mention it's not a very "turn me on" topic. He is very understanding about me being uncomfortable, but I do want to experiment. 
I have the common fears:  
what if i fart, what if i take a dump, what if i shart all together?! 
I'll be nervous regardless so my chances are high. also 
how do i know if im extra clean for a tongue to even be there? 
do people really not care about getting possible poop particles in their mouth? 
am i supposed to shove a baby wipe up there and pull it out for extra cleanliness? 
do i use the bathroom before? 
is butt bleaching a must before i let a buy her that close? 
does butt bleaching make it unhealthy for a guy to but his tongue there? 
do i buy a butt plug to prepare myself? 
am i supposed to stretch it?  
he's rather large so it's also a concern. Please, someone give me some advice.

Answer

Just don’t go from anal to vaginal, ever. Fingers tongue penis, always wash before going vaginal to avoid BV. That’s why anal play in the shower is best because of the water. Clean out your bowels before if need be, laxative (miralax) about two days before until you feel cleared, you will prob be constipated afterward, lube up super good.

Answer

Tons of lube and try to relax. 
Start prepping by letting him finger you but since he’s bigger it would probably be best to use anal toys( like anal beads)
Communication is key. Tell him when it’s okay to continue or to give you a minute to adjust. You will have to stop every once in awhile to get use to is. With that go as slow as you need to go.
I don’t know to much about cleaning but make sure you make him clean himself properly and DO NOT let him enter vaginal until he’s clean. If anything make him wear a condominium and use condom safe lube. 
Also first time will make you feel uncomfortable and like you have to poop but don’t worry you wont and who knows you might actually enjoy it more than you thought.

Answer

Couple of things:
Lube- remember the colon/rectum absorbs water. If you get a water based anal lube you will have to re-apply several times because your body naturally absorbs the water. You can look at hybrid (my favorite) lube which is a water/silicone base that's toy safe and you don't need as much or have to reapply as often. You can also look at gel based lubes (I don't know much about) but are supposed to be more harsh on toys. 
Prepping yourself- multiple options here. You've already started experimenting with fingers. You can either add the lube and just use fingers to get you relaxed or you can get toys.  There are anal beads as someone else mentioned but you can also look at plugs. There are beginner kits with graduated sizes and a multitude of different shapes. Start with the basic cone shape 3 to 4 inch actual insertion length until you know what you like. Just make sure it has a handle on the end so it doesn't get sucked up and "lost" lol. There are even ones that vibrate and have a remote your partner can control for added pleasure. I've found those I like much better. Or you can get a double pleasure dildo. One that has a larger side for vaginal and another smaller skinnier side for anal (if you've never seen one it looks like a < kind of)
Positions- research different positions good for anal. Not everyone likes the same and I've recently learned if my husband doesn't get the angle just right it really hurts (I'm a little more sensitive). If need be experiment with a plug on your own a few times so you get an idea of what you need in order to feel comfortable so you know how to communicate that to your partner. It's also perfectly ok to have the plug in while you have regular vaginal sex if you need a little extra time to help you relax those muscles. 
Removal- if you do decide to use an anal toy of any kind do not just yank it out. Pull slowly and bear down a little to help push it out. I recommend the same with your partner. 
Relax- everyone says this and every one relaxes differently. My suggestion is don't go straight for the penis, especially if your partner is on the larger side. Work your way up using fingers and toys. Don't advance to more fingers or the next size up toy until you are comfortable with what you have. 
Take it sloooow. Don't rush it. Your anus isn't going anywhere. I highly suggest looking online at Adam and eve or a similar adult store in your area to look at reviews and options BUT ALSO go into the store and ask questions. Most of the employees are extremely knowledgeable and can help you out with the differences in items.

Answer

Masterbate and lots of lube, take it slow and enjoy it. I’d recommend using a vibrator whilst he fucks you. Enjoy it.

First Time Anal : Advice?!

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