Mad about being pregnant

Someone asked if women just deal with pregnancy better than others, while i think thats true to a certain degree, some pregnancies are just EASIER than others. I was sick for the first (over) half of my pregnancy. I would vomit so much constantly.. i couldnt eat, i couldnt drink water.. nothing. Eventually the pressure started making me pee my pants. From then on, when i puked, i pissed myself. Humiliating considering people would be around half the time. I lost a ton of weight and felt near death. My skin was bad and broken out all the time and it still flares up now. My skin is so itchy that i scratch it until i bleed and i dont even realize im doing it. My breasts are two different sizes, covered in purple, thick stretchmarks. Top of my butt to my thighs also has them too. I have intense heartburn and i choke on my own stomach acid when i sleep. No medicines help. No remedies help either. I have restless legs, and constant headaches. My back hurts and seizes up to where i cant move. I find myself being angry that i feel this bad. I end up comparing my pregnancy to this girl that i used to be friends with. She took/is taking massive amounts of xanax, not really caring that shes pregnant and her pregnancy has been perfect. She also looks gorgeous. Im 30 weeks pregnant and ive gained 45+ pounds, i should add. Which is ridiculous considering i couldnt eat for 20 weeks straight. I notice im having a hard time bonding with the baby in me. I know its not her fault and i love her.. but ive never done this before. I feel absolutely weak. I went to make some tea to hopefully ease my pain and i sneezed, pissing myself. Im angry. I feel dehumanized. I just want her out so i can have my body and life back. Its making me depressed.