The last few moths have been the worst I’ve ever felt. If depression wasn’t bad enough, add in a backstabbing friend, school stress and anxiety, boyfriend moving to Virginia, see my favorite band in concert, on our 4 month of being together to the day bf then breaks up with me, the day after that happened Stan Lee died.

Half those things happened in the months of October and the short time we’ve been in November. My friend has been putting herself in danger on social media and whenever we try to help her she then just talks shit behind my friend and I backs. She had been my most problematic friend for the 13 years that I have known her and now I think it’s time to let her go as she is doing more harm than good. The thought of it just tears me apart but I think it’s time.

My bf (ex now) moved to Virginia after we had been dating for only a month for college. We were determined to make things work and stay together for a long time. And despite being apart our love only grew stronger, until this last week. He stopped talking to me, left me on open, couldn’t be bothered to tell me about his day, claiming he was busy, all the while still posting on social media. When I confronted him about it on our 4 month he broke up with me. (12/11/18) now we were huge marvel nerds when he came back for Christmas break we were planning to marathon all of the marvel universe movies. And I believe everything happens for a reason and sometimes it doesn’t seem like that but when you and your marvel nerd bf break up then Stan mf Lee dies???? That seems like a pretty big sign to me. I’ve been busy win school and work so I haven’t had time to truly soak in that we’re through. Today was so hard to get through I’ve broken down about 5 times throughout the day. It just feels so wrong without him and I’m just in pieces and he seems fine. He just lost interest in me all of the sudden and it hurts so fucking much to think about the fact that we’re not together, that we’re not a team anymore, that all the plans we made will never go through. We wanted to be together for a long time but if that’s not going to happen. It’s taken everything I have to not text him or call him to say I need him back bc I know he doesn’t want me back. Just thinking of getting over him feels wrong and terrible. Thinking of sleeping around or talking to other people to get over him or make him jealous feel wrong and disgusting. We never even kissed or saw each other in any sexual way bc he is Mormon but I loved him all the same. I gave him everything I had and always supported him but I guess that just wasn’t enough.

If you’ve read this far thank you for listening to my vent.