Am I a failure? I lost my son, my SO of 5 years cheated, I’m sick from grieving.

I jumped into school. I’m in med school. I’m failing my classes I had to drop out of one. I rather drop out then take the F. I have to get 100 to pass this final. I’m a fucking failure I wanted to make my damn son proud and I fucking didn’t. I study but my mind isn’t there I know I jumped into school way to fast knowing what I am going threw I thought it would help me but it back fired on me. I’m going no where in life. I just want my son back I just want him back. I’m an a embarrassment. I’m such a damn failure. My boyfriend loves how I’m trying to be something and I’m not going to make that happen he says I tried I woke up everyday and got out of bed I should be proud of that. I don’t see it.