I recently lost my 4 best friends...this hurt me so much and I broke down in all my classes the next day. Worst thing about it is they only started excluding me after hanging out with some bitch named Arika. I lost my first friend that has been my bestie since kindergarten. My other friends were hanging out with her and I really liked one of them, so went to go with them. Quinn(kindergarten friend) got upset, I apologized and she didn't accept it. it was one day...one day and she decided to throw away 8 years of my life wasted on her. Now, Arika. I thought she was my friend. Until one day. She started to go off on me out of nowhere stating that she "a better friend than" Me and that's exactly what she said. She told me not to talk to her anymore so I didn't. Funny thing is, if she was such a good friend, why would she treat me that way? Next person, that same night, I was balling my eyes and decide to text Naomi(old "friend") We had only been friends for 1 year and I could tell her anything. But she kept things from me. I remember when I asked her who she liked and she wouldn't tell me. Thats because she liked the same person I did. She decided to tell me in a group chat, knowing I would get mad, that they were dating. Of course I get mad but then I act as if I'm okay. My eyes we're so puffy that next day, after crying for hours. I decided to let it go and we made up. A few months later, Arika decided to do what she does best(explained before). So, I asked Naomi, "you don't want to be friends?" Ans her being the way she is, fake, said "why?" And I explained how I felt and everything that happened. Right after that, she said "no I don't want to talk to you." And she blocked me. Then, there's William. The one I loved. I asked him so many times if he wanted me to not talk to him. He never responded. I made a comment that must've triggered him and his finally answered. He said he never did anything wrong. Which was of course wrong. he pushed me away so many times and I even tried to kms. But part of his and my "break up" was cause of me. I pushed him into answering and I regret it so much. The only reason ALL of them gave me as to why I shouldn't talk to the was because I made everything about myself. I don't when I have EVER done that because they were never there when I needed them. I was always there supporting them while they hung out behind my back, talked she behind my back. This angerd me, but now all I can think of is them, how I wish I hadn't made a mistake. I used to hang out in big groups with them and now I only hangout with 2 people. I do wish we were friends. Just without Arika. She ruined Naomi, which ruined William, ruined Quinn and quickly spread to me. I hate her with all my guts and I wish I hadnt met her. My life was fine until she showed up. Sorry for my rant. I'm now crying because I miss them and this is a place where I can make things full of my emotions without them saying I can't.