Possible trigger, how do i get over it?


Currently 20 weeks pregnant and living together with our children from previous marriages. I awoke to my fiance not in bed, about 3 am. I figured he went to the bathroom and fell back to sleep. The next morning I awoke to him in bed but he had changed and his boxers were in the washer (washed).

I asked him if he had went somewhere. He nonchalantly answered that he went and hung out with his friend "Zach" they went and had a few beers. I felt he was lying so I checked his GPS history and he had went to the strip club and to two other houses. Now I've never had a reason not to trust him and have always felt absolutely adored. Now I'm just I'm shock. I don't like confortation but I had to ask. He admitted to going to the strip club and said that he didn't cheat. I broke down and later asked him why he didn't wake me up to tell me he was leaving as I wouldn't have minded him having a boys night but now all trust is broken. (He lied, snuck out and I'm sure more happened) I asked him why he went to these residences and his response was that he didn't do anything wrong. That he went out and got a lap dance, had a few beers and came home and that I could get over it or get out..

I'm so torn and sick, I feel my self esteem has been crushed with my trust in him. He blames my insecurities, lack of trust and anxieties for me not believing that more didn't occur however he lied idk what to do 😭