Fertility problems, let’s get real.

Melissa

What you shouldn’t say to a woman with fertility problems. Most of the time these comments are given after being asked “So, when are you going to have a baby?” And you on the occasion decided to tell them that you have been trying for many years. Or from friends or family members that you have opened up to.

- Just stop stressing about it and it will happen.

- It will happen when it’s meant to happen.

- Once you adopt you will get pregnant.

- I tried for 6-8 months before I got pregnant. It was so hard.

- Don’t get a puppy because once you do you will get pregnant.

- Maybe you just weren’t meant to have a baby.

- When you stop trying you will get pregnant.

- What’s the next step for you?

There is no time that you ever stop stressing about it or quit trying. It will always be in the back of our minds (or in the front). We don’t care if we adopt and then get pregnant or get a puppy and then get pregnant. Who says we can’t handle both. Although, I am sure that those few months of you trying were hard and you maybe shed some tears it is not the same as trying for years. We are always questioning ourselves as to whether or not we think we are not meant to have children. We don’t need anyone saying it to us. Fertility treatments are expensive. They are also extremely hard on our body’s. The next step is probably going to take financial planning, emotional preparation, and not to mention risking our bodies physically again. If you are someone that knows someone with fertility problems listening is key. There really is not a lot to say. Saying things like “I’m praying for you guys.” “I’m always here to listen.” Or even “Trying is the best part.” Are all things that have touched me or at least made me giggle. If there is something that you have a hard time with please share. It helps sharing and knowing you are not alone. For me at least.