So my bf and I have been dating for over a year now. I just want to clarify that I'm aware that a year is nothing and that this post is problem going to cause some issues. I'm not trying to do that im just trying to get advice as of what I should do with information. So my birthday is coming up and my bf and I planned on going on a vacation. Well the place that we planned on going is the area that he moving soon. He suggested, more like decided, that we should push the vacation back a week to when he moves in. The reasoning for that is to save money since we would have to get a hotel if we went on my actual birthday. I agreed to this because I didnt really have a choice as well as money is a bit tight. Well come last night and he says that he wants to push back another week because he doesnt want to have to be stressed out while moving in. This is where I get mad and start saying that it's my birthday and we already pushed it back once. He then admits that the only reason he's pushing it back is because his mother told him that she doesnt want to compete for his attention with me. With that being said I should give a little back story cause I dont want to be extremely bias and let you hear half the story. Hes lived with his parents up until the point he moves in to his new place in a couple of weeks. He's an extreme mamas boy, hes the eldest and well as the obvious favorite. Now his mother has always been really nice to me. There have been a few instances of her judging me but that's a different issue. Overall she has been wonderful. But.. there is obvious signs that she controls the whole family and it's her way or the highway. Now with that being said when his mother told him she didnt want to compete for attention he said okay and didnt say anything else. So at this point im upset cause I feel like an after thought. To which he states, and I quote, "we've only been together for a year. It doesn't matter if we're together forever. Unless we get married you're not my family or anything equal. They will always come first. And if we do get married itll be some time before you will come first because I'm not use to it." I just dont know how to process this. I get it we've only been together a year. I understand that we're not married. But I feel so little now and as though I dont matter whatsoever. As well as plans will always change if the mother wants them to. I just feel like no matter what the mother will always come first and I was never in a two person relationship. I also want to clarify that I know how important family is, and that I'm not asking to be picked first only after a year. I'm not equal to them and I shouldn't be, or at least that's how hes making me feel. I just need advice on how to deal with what he said to me and just the whole situation in general. Please dont be mean because I can already see the whole "you're so stupid of course his mother should come first" like I understand that. I just need advice to easily transition on from this and essentially in a way know my place.