Feeling really low :'(

I had a miscarriage 4.5 weeks ago. We wwre trying for six months and found out at our 11 week scan our baby had died at 9 weeks. We started trying again after I got a negative hpt and the bleeding stopped. I think I ovulated either Friday 7th Aug or Saturday 8th Aug which would put me at 8/9dpo. Last time I tested positive at 9dpo but got a negative hpt today so think I'm out. For the past week I've had cramps on and off, really sore boobs, milky cm and lots of it, a sharp pain at 5dpo (thought this may be implantation pain) and a blob of yellow cm (had this with first pregnancy). I also had sore boobs with my first pregnancy too - this was my main symptom. I'm tired, moody, urinating a lot. I really thought this was it - my rainbow baby. I now feel sad and just want AF to show so I can try again :'( life is so hard sometimes. .. xxxx