Mad. Just straight up mad.

Today is Thanksgiving and as grateful as I am and just trying to be happy. I am really struggling. Like REALLY. We have been trying for a year to get pregnant for the second time and no luck. I’m really struggling with feelings of anger. I’ve noticed that the past week I have had nightmares where I am mad at God and I just go off on Him in my dreams. I feel awful. I feel like a horrible person. I noticed that everyone around me is getting pregnant, announcing their pregnancies and I’m here with a broken heart wondering if we will ever get Pregnant again and be able to give my son a sibling. It’s so hard because I’m trying to be thankful and I am because I have SO MUCH. And at the same time I’m just so mad and I hate feeling this way but I just cannot help it. My heart hurts it just feels like a brick is sitting on it.