Hi Mommies,

(This is a longer post but am so grateful if someone has any advice)

First off, here is me and our little peanut due Dec 6th!

I don’t usually post to much on my own as I do on comments but lately I’ve just needed some encouragement. My husband and I are having our first baby due on Dec 5th.

I’m getting this question a lot now as we are only 9 days from delivery day and it’s “are you nervous?” And the funny thing is that I’m not nervous about the delivery at all! (I guess, ask me again when contractions start, lol!) but I am nervous about something else and in a big way to the point where I get annoyed and then sad because I just can’t turn it off.

I will start by saying, him and I have great families. I am grateful to have them as some aren’t as fortunate to have them or do have them and for other reasons just aren’t close or are estranged. But with that said our families become so overbearing sometimes!!!

Anyways, they are also controlling. To the point where it’s making us feel out of control of this exciting time for us which is growing to not be anymore (for me anyways and I feel so bad feeling this way.) Him and I both have these kind of personalities where we just kind roll with the flow don’t want drama or don’t like to upset people. and previously if it was family holidays or anything like that, that caused stresses we just kind of beared it because it’s family and sometimes you just have too for a weekend. But now him and I are planning our birth. and just what we want to do come delivery and also postpartum. Also since our little boy is coming just before the holidays, how him and I want to plan that.

Where we are delivering, there are multiple classes offered and a lot of them stress to keep family time limited because not only will we need the rest but also we will want those two days of bonding together before we bring baby home. After it’s all about family so to have that time is so important. Him and I totally agree and that’s how we planned to handle it. Both our families live 4 hours away so they will be staying in a hotel when they do come, I’m sure. I don’t mean to be vague but just wanting to keep it short, so I will say we have problems in the past of just family planning so much. His side and my side both race to plan holidays and get upset when it’s not met a certain way.

Over thanksgiving his family came over which again we didn’t want. We just wanted to spend our potential last weekend before our Liam comes, alone and cuddling and just having a stay-in last weekend before everything changes (for the good of course, but just changes.) No one seems to understand when we explain this. So fast forward to this last weekend (thanksgiving weekend) and his dad, mom, sister, and her fiancé and us are all just like sitting around, I’m ready to get out and walk because I’m 39 weeks pregnant lol and sitting around the entire day is not in question right now and you wanna be comfy and yourself this last week, all spread out in comfy clothes and watching your show or just doing something to enjoy this last week, understandable right? Well i can’t and I’m starting to get angsty and achy in my back. Didn’t even really want this weekend anyways as literally in another weekend time they’ll be here again and planning basically every weekend after that. Everyone is like “Cait, you doing okay? Any contractions? Are you drinking water? Make sure you drink water? Are you this, that, this, that, etc? I’m like in my head thinking “No, no, and no but again you all know I’m this close to delivery lol so honestly everything hurts and I want my couch back or to sleep for the next 8 hours and just want everyone to leave so I can relax. And not have to answer all your questions that you end up not liking my answers too!) and having people over at your house even if they say don’t worry about us you just chill, you still feel like a host haha!

Remind you, at this point I can really go into labor anytime and I have a house full of in laws. (Not what I pictured and nor do I wanna deal with contractions in front of my in laws and sister in laws fiancé whom I barely know lol.) Mean while this thanksgiving that they wanted to have consisted of loading us with questions about our birth plan and holiday plans come Christmas. And say “you’re calling us right? We want to be there when he comes and we want to help out those first few days whether that be getting your house ready when you come home. Or anything like that we just want to be there!) I have a feeling this means they may be going to stay for awhile after he is born that way there it’s easy access. I am grateful for the help I really am and it sounds like I’m being mean but I don’t want them or my family there this whole time. We’ve struggled in the past with just families! I don’t mean this just with his family and I hope no one gets that from this.

Anyways I just pause and look at my husband and at them and just see want to say “you weren’t there when we made him, nor do I want you all there immediately after I push him out of my vagina when he comes out and is placed on my bare chest for the first bonding moment my husband and I have ever had with him. After we have had our first moments as parents and we get some rest then yes, family can have their chance.” (Mind you this isn’t even my side of the family, which we have to deal with too constantly) Then I want to add “ as for bringing him home, I would rather him and I have our first couple of days alone getting a hang of this whole we are new parents thing before we have a house load of people asking me what they can do while my boobs are hanging out and also I’m trying to figure that out too. We will have family here a couple days after he is born for anyone to visit.”

My family keeps insisting too and you can tell they don’t like this and say they want to be here for basically all of it as well. So I just wish we could get everyone in our family in the same room together and just show them this is what we are dealing with lol

Also, they are planning family christmases and our little guy is only to be 2 weeks old. We don’t want to travel with him and also don’t feel like this is enough time with him before we are passing him around to everyone AGAIN like we did all the previous weekends! I don’t want it too seem like we don’t want family there at all but I don’t think him and I are doing that by any means at all! They seem to have the most time quite frankly and always had!

It’s weird because they all seemed to understand before but now as we get closer they seem to be worse and are not respecting our wishes to the point where my husband and I don’t even want to call when we go in for delivery and just wait until until after our baby is here and we have rest but we don’t want anyone to be upset.

Help!! Anyone!! I am seriously mentally exhausted and hurt thinking about this. It’s keeping me from being excited about my new babies arrival stressing about family and I can’t seem to turn it off. Wondering if anyone else is dealing with this or has had too?